


Coping Methods

by hiddengalexy



Category: Ghost (Sweden Band), Mary Goore - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:54:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25299451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiddengalexy/pseuds/hiddengalexy
Summary: A gender-neutral reader with a sad person who's dating Mary Goore. Super soft Mary and a good amount of fluff.
Kudos: 4





	Coping Methods

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Some allusions to suicide attempt/harmful thoughts

It’s only 3 in the afternoon and today has already been incredibly hard. You feel completely overwhelmed with everything that’s going on in the world and in your own life, and despite having Mary, who you love with your whole heart and know loves you back entirely, you feel terribly sad and lonely. So, you decide it’s time for a good crying sesh and a depression nap because you don’t have the energy to accomplish any of your healthier coping methods. Besides, this isn’t something you do often so napping in the middle of the day when you really need it won’t derail all the hard work you’ve been putting into your mental health and recovery.

As you walk out of the kitchen and into the living room, having just finished a cup of tea to warm you up for your nap, you see Mary sitting on the couch with headphones on playing a video game. He probably didn’t want to disturb you with the loud noises of glory killing hell knights and such (that boy loves his Doom). You walk around to the front of the couch and lazily wave to get his attention. He pauses the game and removes his headphones with a smile reminding you how patient and loving he is despite his sometimes threatening and intense appearance. You sigh internally and begin the speech you mentally prepared while drinking your tea. 

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to take a nap. If I’m still asleep by the time you eat dinner you can eat without me, but if you order from somewhere would you please wake me up or order something for me you know I’ll like. Please.” 

Your attempt at nonchalance probably doesn’t look very convincing with one hand on the back of your neck and the other arm wrapped around your waist, so you try to force a smile after you finish. Granted you’re already fighting back tears and any attempt at happiness probably just looks like your straining.

Mary tilts his head and looks at you through slightly narrowed eyes. He motions for you to come closer to him and as you walk forward, he clasps your hand and gently pulls you onto his lap. You know that it will be nearly impossible for you to fight back tears as you settle onto his lap with your legs on either side of his torso.

“Are you okay, love?” he asks looking deep into your eyes.

Something about this question and the love and concern for you that shines in his eyes when he asks it breaks you. Before you can even try to fight back tears, you are quietly sobbing. Mary takes off your glasses and sets them on the ottoman before gently wiping your eyes and pulling you into his chest with a tight hug. The physical contact only makes you cry harder and while you still aren’t making much noise you can feel your tears soaking Mary’s Misfits shirt.

You try to choke back your tears and answer him but all the comes out is a stuttered “I’m s-s-sorry. I d-d-don’t know what’s wrong t-t-today.”

“Do you want me to take you upstairs?” Mary asks in a quiet, soothing voice.

Unable to speak through your sobs without choking you simply nod. As he stands up with you in his arms you wrap your legs around his waist (ignoring the spikes of his belt that poke into your calves), your arms around his neck, and bury your face into his chest. You continue your silent sobbing as Mary carries you to the room the two of you share and your head bobs against his chest as he ascends the stairs. After a few more steps you hear the door squeak open and soon enough Mary is gently laying you down on the bed but maneuvering carefully so that you two are still intertwined. 

Looking into your eyes once again Mary asks, “do you want me to lay here with you until you fall asleep?”

You feel as though you can verbally respond to his question now as your crying has subsided just a bit due to the comfort of your bed and Mary’s embrace. Staring back at him you are able to mutter out a “yes please” and you close your eyes when he kisses your forehead in response. The two of you settle into the bed and you can’t help but feel a tiny bit of relief when you hear Mary remove his belt – probably remembering all the times you’ve asked him to in the past. 

You continue to cry for several minutes but between the warmth of the tea you drank, the coziness of the bed, and the comfort of being held by the love of your life you slowly begin to relax. Mary is also massaging your scalp and tracing circles along your spine from your neck to your tailbone which only helps lull you to sleep faster. Soon enough your thoughts slow down, your mind begins to fade into darkness, and you feel yourself drifting into sleep.

You don’t know how long you’ve been in bed when you roll over and feel that Mary has gone back downstairs, but what was once light shining through your window has turned into moonlit darkness so you assume you’ve been out cold for a while. This assumption is confirmed by the ache of your muscles when you sit up at the edge of the bed and begin to stretch. You guess you’ve been out for at least 4 hours because that’s usually how long it takes your muscles to get sore and tight from inactivity. After a few more good stretches, you stand up and make your way downstairs thinking you should probably eat something even though you aren’t really hungry. But you haven’t eaten all day because of your depression and as you walk out of the room your stomach growls loudly to confirm that it does in fact need food. When you reach the well-lit first floor you realize you can’t see because you aren’t wearing your glasses, but you don’t know how you’re going to find them without having them on. You sigh loudly and Mary, who you didn’t realize was only a few feet away in the kitchen, yells to you.

“I put your glasses on the table next to the stairs!”

You sigh again this time in relief and put your face as close to the table as you can without touching it so you can find your glasses. The gold frame glints from the light of the kitchen and living room and you put your glasses on feeling grateful that Mary is always thinking of you. As you make your way into the kitchen you see a few take out boxes on the counter. You knew Mary wasn’t going to wake you up when you asked him to earlier so you hope he got you something good from wherever he ordered.

“Is any of this for me?” You ask him in a voice hoarse from exhaustion and sleep.

“Yep! I got you rice and vegetable curry. That is your favorite if I’m remembering correctly?” He says in a fake sarcastic tone.

You playfully roll your eyes knowing that you only ever order curry and walk to the counter to make a plate. Once you have a good amount of curry in one bowl and a large amount of rice in the other you make your way to the table and sit down finally feeling hungry. 

“Seriously thank you for getting this for me. I haven’t eaten all day and there’s no way I could muster up enough energy to cook. You’re the absolute best and I love you.” You say to him before you begin your meal.

“Yeah yeah. Just eat the food before you pass out or something.” Mary says jokingly, but you know without looking he has a genuine smile on his face from your praise and is truly concerned about your health. 

You eat without talking until you clear both bowls and you actually start feeling better. After you wash your dishes, which Mary insisted he could do as you insisted he’d done enough already, you traipsed lazily to the couch and plopped down next to him. You were content to sit there and rest your head on Mary’s shoulder while you both watched tv in silence, but when he paused his movie you knew you were in for an emotional talk. You weren’t sure if you were ready to talk about the day but you felt Mary had been so loving and patient the least you could do is hear what he has to say.

“Are you okay to talk about what’s going on now, love?” he asked.

Of course he would ask if you were ready, it was like he could read your mind sometimes and he was always so gentle and considerate.

“Yeah Mare I’m fine to talk about it” you answered without hesitation. 

It felt like the truth. you knew the conversation would be hard, but Mary was so kind (to you at least) you felt sure he would never say anything to intentionally hurt you or make you uncomfortable. 

“I know today wasn’t your usual mood and that you’ve been doing really well since the attempt and everything. I’ve seen the effort you’ve put into being mentally healthy and I’m so proud of you. But I’m just concerned. Today was a little bit scary and it caught me off guard because you’ve been doing so well, so I just want to make sure you’re okay. Are you okay?”

You were unsurprised at how gently he said everything and you could see the concern in his furrowed brow so you thought carefully about your answer.

“I’m not okay in the sense that I’m pretty sad right now, but I don’t want to hurt myself or anything like that. I’m okay as far as that’s concerned. Today was just hard. Some days are better than others and today just wasn’t one of my better days.”

You take a brief pause and quietly let out a deep breath thinking about what to say next. Mary and you weren’t together when you had your attempt but you wanted to be upfront with him so after about 3 months of dating you figured you should tell him what happened.

“I know it’s scary for you to see me like this and not know what I’m thinking or thinking about doing, but I promise if I ever do have those thoughts I will tell you so we can figure out what needs to be done to prevent anything…detrimental from happening. I don’t want to lose you or for you to lose me, but I also don’t want you to feel like you have to carry all of the emotional weight. I really am okay and I want to be there for you as much as you are for me, so if you ever need a day like today I hope that you would feel like you could tell me. We can worry about each other equally. Okay?”

You hope that everything you said made sense. As you watch Mary’s face for a response you feel content with his sigh of relief and the small smile that follows. You know he knows that you’re okay and that you love him, and that’s all that matters right now. Everything else just has to be taken one day at a time.

Mary gently takes your face between his hands and looks into your eyes, his own filled with what you think is longing and maybe a little happiness.

“I love you so fucking much.”

Before you can respond to him, he kisses you. It’s a delicate embrace but you can sense the passion and devotion behind it. 

When he pulls away, the two of you stare into each other’s eyes knowing that your love for one another is enduring and sincere. And for now, that’s more than enough.


End file.
